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Cass
A Paki buys the house next door to me. He asks me"Your front room is the same size as mine, how many rolls of wallpaper did you buy to decorate it?" I said "14"
Saw him 3 days later he said" I have 4 rolls left over."
I said "So have I."
Oct 13 2011 06:59 AM
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Cass
If cats always land on their feet, and toast always lands butter side down, what happens if you staple a piece of toast to the back of a cat with the butter side up and throw it out of a window?
Perpetual motion?
Oct 08 2011 12:07 PM
Cass
The sound of children laughing makes me happy.
Unless I'm all alone in an abandoned hospital and my flash light isn't working properly.
Oct 04 2011 07:42 PM
Cass
I was watching Family Fortunes and one of the questions was "Name an alcoholic spirit?"
Should have seen the looks I got when I said George Best.
Sep 25 2011 08:10 PM
Cass
I've had to change my relationship status on Facebook to 'It's complicated'...
After breaking my right hand and having to wank with my left.
Sep 24 2011 06:48 AM
Cass
Aberdeen officially does my tits clean in lol Canny wait to see the back of that place :)
Sep 23 2011 10:43 PM
Cass
A Jehovah witness knocked on my door today and tried to convert me.
I told him I wasn't interested in becoming a paedophile.
Sep 18 2011 12:47 PM
